Identity

Exercise: How do you identify?

Have you ever really thought about your identity? Using some of the categories on this page, make a list of the parts of your identity.

An illustration of a buffet table on aqua background. The image title reads, "The Identity Buffet" and goes on to explain how identity is like a buffet. People can choose the characteristics they identify with (culture, job, disability, etc.) and these choices may change over life. Some people identify as disabled while others do not - it is important to allow people to choose and not make assumptions.
An illustration of a buffet table on aqua background. The image title reads, “The Identity Buffet” and goes on to explain how identity is like a buffet. People can choose the characteristics they identify with (culture, job, disability, etc.) and these choices may change over life. Some people identify as disabled while others do not – it is important to allow people to choose and not make assumptions.

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Text on aqua that reads: "Horizontal Identity" and briefly explains it as "Horizontal identities* are ways we define ourselves that don't match with family values or genetics." The image gives examples of horizontal identity from religion (a person who chooses a faith or practices that is different from their family), rationality (a person who moves), and disability (a child born to nondisabled parents). The image also suggests that people with horizontal identities should get to know others like them and credits Andrew Solomon ("Far from The Tree") for the horizontal identity concept.
Text on aqua that reads: “Horizontal Identity” and briefly explains it as “Horizontal identities* are ways we define ourselves that don’t match with family values or genetics.” The image gives examples of horizontal identity from religion (a person who chooses a faith or practices that is different from their family), rationality (a person who moves), and disability (a child born to nondisabled parents). The image also suggests that people with horizontal identities should get to know others like them and credits Andrew Solomon (“Far from The Tree”) for the horizontal identity concept.

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Identity is like an all-you-can-eat buffet. No one makes the exact same plate.

When I was a child, it was a big family treat to visit a buffet restaurant called The Mark. Apart from the cherries jubilee dessert, my favorite thing about The Mark was that I could choose what I wanted to eat. Once we were old enough to manage our own plates, my brother and I would follow the line together, scooping up whatever we loved most. And event though we were siblings from the same house with the same parents, our plates never looked the same.

Identity is like that too. You may share some things (like core beliefs and genetics) with your family and friends, but you have other experiences that are yours and yours alone.

About Intersectionality

You may have heard people tossing around a big word: “intersectionality.” If we’re sticking with the buffet metaphor, intersectionality is how your plate ends up at the end of the buffet line. It’s the unique combination that makes you who you are.

So, what are the things that make up your intersectionality? There are a lot of options:

  • Race or ethnicity
  • Gender
  • Religion
  • Sexual orientation
  • Age
  • Job or vocation
  • Geography (where you live)
  • Culture
  • Language
  • Socioeconomic status (relative wealth or class)
  • Education
  • … just to name a few

Now here’s where things get interesting. Just like the buffet line, your identity isn’t constant throughout your life. Things that are part of your identity right now may not be as important in another phase of your life. And things that aren’t even on the horizon may become more important.

It’s important to remember that intersectionality is a snapshot. The next time you go through that buffet line, you may get an entirely different plate. Life changes and so do we.

Disability and Identity

Like the items in the list above, disability is a part of the identity buffet. For people who were born with visible differences, disability may be a life-long component of identity. For others (like the senior citizen who loses her hearing), disability may be part of an identity they don’t claim. Others with invisible disabilities may claim disability when they need it (for example, to have an accommodation made on a test) but otherwise not think to much about it.

Bottom line? Each person with a disability may identify with their disability differently – and that’s OK. It’s all a part of their larger intersectionality.

Parenting, Disability, and Identity

For many parents and caregivers, having a child with a disability in the family may be all new. Author Andrew Solomon calls these new identities (the ones that don’t come from family genetics or values) “horizontal identities.” Solomon also tells readers that the only way we can learn about horizontal identities is from peers who share that identity.

Here’s a simple example. You move to a new city and plan to attend the city’s next professional football game. It makes more sense to ask your new next door neighbor what to expect at the game than it does to ask family who live in the city you moved away from.

That’s the same reason why it’s important for children with disabilities to meet to people who are like them. When children with disabilities learn from adult voices in the community, the disability identity becomes an option on the buffet line. They can choose it (or not), but only if they know it’s there.

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